Sunday 2 August 2015

Asperger Dreams

I wonder if anyone else has really complex dreams like me?

I find it very hard to get off to sleep because my mind is so active. Also, when I close my eyes, I start to see visions, images, movies if you will.

I have had the experience of finding myself in a Middle Eastern market. I could see all the vivid colours and the Arabic goods set out. I could see the stall holders and hear the noise and general business of the market. I don't know what this means but it seemed so real.

When I do finally fall asleep, I am often troubled by repetitive and distressing dreams. One in particular happens quite often. I dream that I have moved back to London. I am wandering around the new property, which always has many many room, leading off each other.

In the dream, I am overawed by having such a large amount of space, but then I realise I have upped sticks, have no work and no means to support myself. I then panic as I remember I have given up my little house in Surrey and there is no going back. I am lost, alone, and trapped.

You can imagine my relief when I waken to find myself in my own bed, in my own little house and I have my job to go to!

Sometimes the dreams are so vivid, complex and involving much confusion and energy. I can wake up feeling as if I have been hit by a ten ton truck. Once I felt so awful, with a crashing head ache that I had to stay home to recover, as I was in no fit state to drive!

One of the worst was where my own mother stabbed me to death with a huge kitchen knife. It was particularly scary because she was dressed in such a horrible way. Imagine Baby Jane crossed with a clown and you get the picture. Added to this she was inching towards my bed with a broom.

Step, step.........sweep forwards.......step step......sweep forwards, until she was standing over me and the knife was about to plunge. Eeeek.

I have read of children complaining that when they close their eyes they see zig zags and shapes, so it may well be a feature of Asperger's for some of us.